Tuesday, May 29, 2012

The Real Deal (or, my authentic self)

Lately I have been feeling out of sorts, and I wonder if some of that doesn't stem from me trying to appear a certain way.  I want to be seen as patient, kind, understanding, confident.  I want to be the mom who appears to be cool-and-collected, the "fun" mom, the "cool" mom.  But what are any of those things really?  Those labels are mostly applied by people outside the realm of my home.  It would be terrific if people really thought those things of me.  But the more important issue is how I see myself, and how my kids see me.  To achieve that, I must break off the relationship I have with negative self-talk; I must seek joy in the everyday things; I must be honest with myself and others; I need to break out of my comfort zone, and be afraid to try new things; I must allow myself to fail (and succeed!); I must forgive myself (and other).

Today, I will be honest with you about myself.  Here are a few things that you may or may not know about me:
  • I love to eat.  A lot.  I am working hard on changing this, because this way of life is too damaging to continue.
  • I have lousy teeth, and I hate the dentist.
  • I am the opposite of high-maintenance: I don't use a blow dryer or styling products for my hair; I rarely wear make up; I own tennies and sandals, with dress shoes in the standard colors (black, white, etc).
  • I would rather load the dishwasher than unload it.  Same for packing a suitcase versus unpacking it.
  • I believe in God, but do not go to church.  I pray every night, and we say the blessing before dinner each evening.
  • I prefer to drive a manual transmission vehicle.
  • I would love to have a creative outlet outside of coloring with my kids.
Feel free to ask me anything you wish.  There is no guarantee that I will answer the questions, but I have nothing to hide.  Here's a parting question for you: what are your sources of joy?
Thanks for reading, and keep coming back--I hope you get to know me while I get to know myself!

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